brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
