She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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