New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
