Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
