Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Where are you guys?
Drunk
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize