so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
