I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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