the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
