wanna go halves on a baby?
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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