based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
