yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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