i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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