I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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