i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
