I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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