Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
