PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
