Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
