just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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