1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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