Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
