What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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