So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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