i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
