the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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