ugly people sure do ruin things
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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