What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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