ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
