whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
