Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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