; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
