is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I think I won the penis lottery.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
