He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
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