my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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