Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
