This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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