you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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