My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
