i think my tv is drunk
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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