not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
