I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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