Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
