How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
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