chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
