we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
