oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
