Where did you get a picture of my penis
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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