Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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