I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
