I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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