we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Two words: blizzard sex
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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