Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
