I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
