An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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