Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize