I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
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If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
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Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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