Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
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