yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
even my farts smell like vagina
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
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