ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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