Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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