I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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