you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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