thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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