It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
