Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
