i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
