Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
