There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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