he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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