i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
When are your genitals available?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
